Wonder-Licking Good Time


Pop quiz hotshot:

A boy is 17 years old and his sister is twice as old. When the boy is 23 years old, what will be the age of his sister?

When rope is selling at 10 cents a foot, how many feet can you buy for 60 cents?

Don’t worry; I’ll wait for you to solve them…. (Waiting…)

Done? Good.  Hopefully you figured out that the answers are 40 years old and 6 feet (come on, these were easy). If you did, congratulations! You just scored the same score in two questions as recent NFL Draft pick Morris Claiborne did on a 50 question test. One of the lowest scores ever recorded.

(Yes I’m well aware this happened 2 months ago. It still makes for a riveting article)

I can all but assure you that this was a case of Claiborne not caring about the results, and just putting down whatever answer he could to get out of that test as fast as he could. He confirmed as much afterward, “”I mean, I looked on the test and wasn’t nothing on the test that came with football, so I pretty much blew the test off,” Claiborne said.

Ok, so he isn’t that dumb. And he certainly didn’t deserve some of the venom that was spewed his way. It is fun to imagine what type of questions he missed though. (In reality, we could put any dumb athlete in this spot and have fun with it.) So without further ado, I looked up some of the best questions from a Wonderlic test. Note: this isn’t necessarily an “easiest” or “hardest,” just a list of notable questions. (With my remarks in parentheses)

Paper sells for 21 cents per pad. What will four pads cost?

(This question comes down to: “can you recognize that we’re asking you 21 times 4? If you can’t…well go back to second grade and learn what a word problem is.)

Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:

1. true, 2. false, 3. not certain?

Tom greeted Beth. Beth greeted Dawn. Tom did not greet Dawn.

The lesson here is that Tom is a douche.

Randolph has 8 ties, 6 pairs of pants, and 4 dress shirts. How many days could he possibly go without wearing the same combination of these three items?

I hate these types of questions. I can’t blame Claiborne for skipping them. Let’s say the answer is 192 (I multiplied them together). (Checking answer key….Holy crap I’m right! I take it back; you’re as dumb as rocks Morris!)

PRODUCE REDUCE These words:

A: Have similar meanings.
B: Have opposite meanings.
C: Have neither similar nor opposite meanings.

I feel bad for anyone from a foreign country who tries to answer these. I never understood how this tested intelligence. Rather it just tests vocabulary…I’m sure this is the best indicator of whether Andrew Luck will be a good quarterback or not.

Which of numbers in this group represents the smallest amount? a) 0.3 b) 0.08 c) 1 d) 0.33 Let’s break out the place value blocks and have some fun!

I have never been a fan of any type of standardized test. I understand their importance; however these tests are generally designed to trick you. That is not what knowledge is all about. I think a much fairer test would be to have NFL players handwrite a five paragraph essay on what they did over their summer vacation. Not only would there be some AMAZING stories, we’d also have some comical handwriting, mixed in with some amazing grammar problems. I mean, just follow any random twitter account if you want to see how poorly some people write.

The lesson here, as always, is that I should have been a professional athlete. I mean just look  how awesome life would have been! Right?

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2 responses to “Wonder-Licking Good Time

  1. Wait, I’m confused. Unless I’m misunderstanding the format here, if you base the first two statements as truth, then ask “Did Tom greet Dawn,” the answer is “uncertain.” It seems like you implied that Tom did not greet Dawn, but if he for sure greeted Beth, and Beth greeted Dawn, and that’s all we know, then there is no way we can deduce one way or another whether Tom greeted Dawn or not. Also, the grammar in these questions are terrible.

  2. Yes, that’s why the Wonderlic sucks.

    Also, The mere implication that Tom would not greet Dawn makes him a douche.

    (and you’re right, the answer is “uncertain”

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