So I’m overwhelmingly sick and, as such, didn’t go see a movie last night. In terms of my recommendations for the week, I hear 21 Jump Street is rather hilarious. That’s not my official endorsement, mind you, but it’s what I’ve heard.
Regardless, this predicament gave me the idea for interesting “top 5 list” — a list that any self-respecting connoisseur of film would hate to put together. Well, blame the fever or perhaps my lack of self-respect, but here is my list of “Top 5 Films I Haven’t Seen,” with some brief commentary.
5. The Ice Age Films (2002 – 2012)
That’s right, kids. The adventures of Manny, Sid, Diego, and Scrat are entirely foreign to me. Granted, reviews from most critics have been mixed, but when a franchise has grossed nearly $2 billion worldwide, it’s pretty astonishing that I haven’t even seen one of them. That these characters have survived this long when their deaths are increasingly nigh is pretty impressive, and I think I’m just waiting for the installment where nature finally takes them out.
4. Tootsie (1982)
Here is a film that was nominated for 10 Academy Awards, stars a cross-dressing Dustin Hoffman, and to this day stands atop many lists of the best comedies of all time. How have I not seen this? I’m just going to have to chalk this one up to sheer laziness and bad form on my part.
3. The Third Man (1949)
While this may seem like an easy-miss for most modern moviegoers, this is among the most important films ever made, and received top honors at the Cannes Film Festival in 1949. Of all the film’s deemed fit for a Criterion Collection release, I am most embarrassed that I haven’t seen this one (especially since it’s been sitting in my Netflix instant queue for months). Maybe I’ll watch this after I’m done writing this list…
2. Y Tu Mamá También (2001)
Here is another film that’s been sitting in my Netflix queue since I got the service over a year ago. This is a movie I’ve always wanted to watch, because a) it contains controversial sex, b) everyone seems to think it’s great, and c) IT CONTAINS CONTROVERSIAL SEX! And I love movies that contain controversial sex… I am once again without an excuse, and I promise I will rectify this soon.
1. Léon: The Professional (1994)
This is going to come as a shock to more than a few cinephiles, because how a lover of film can go without Leon: The Professional is beyond most of them. It stars the very French Jean Reno as a hitman, Natalie Portman as his protégé, and Gary Oldman as a dirty cop. Why haven’t I seen this? Why haven’t you seen this? What is wrong with us? Leon is perhaps the movie I’m most reluctant to admit I haven’t seen, because there is no excuse that can make-up for it.
So that’s my list. I know, I know — I’d be embarrassed for me, too. I should do these kinds of lists more often, as I want to watch all of these now simply to overcome the shame I feel. By the next time you talk to me, I’ll likely have at least watched four of these (I know myself well enough to say that someone would need to sit me down to watch Ice Age).