A plea on behalf of Hunger Games


Dear Hollywood,

Please don’t mess up the Hunger Games movie. If there is one movie in the next decade that you get right, make it this one. There are way too many factors riding on this movie being successful. I’ve included a list below that will numerically express what these factors are in order.

1. My happiness: If you do to this movie what Joel Shumacher did to Batman and Bane, I will send a vial of my tears to your corporate office.

2. Jennifer Lawrence: She’s a nice girl coming off an Oscar nomination and a good turn as Mystique in X-Men: First Class. Don’t ruin her career.

3. Fans: This book has fans. You will make them sad if this movie is terrible.

A trailer was shown of Hunger Games in which our hero Katniss is seen in the wilderness with her bow. Then a bunch of fire starts blasting, referencing the scene in the book where fire starts blasting. Okay, cool. Looks good. Then I find out that, since they started filming, this scene is all they had. Really? In all this time, you have shots of a bunch of trees? That’s like saying “We’re hard at work at The Dark Knight Rises,” but then only having footage of buildings. So far, all I’ve seen is this weak trailer and a bunch of movie posters featuring the different characters posing with different levels of brooding.

Last time I checked, a good movie consists of more than a 30-second trailer and an assortment of posters. So I have taken the time to list acceptable movies you can use as inspiration for how to make good movies.

1. Slumdog Millionaire

2. The Godfather

3. Citizen Kane

Here’s what not to do.

1. Twilight

2. Dragonball: Evolution

3. Red Riding Hood

4. M. Knight Shymalan. It’s a common joke, but The Hunger Games doesn’t need to end with Katniss actually being dead the whole time, or some other inane twist.

Hollywood. You have already ruined The Last Airbender. You killed Spiderman 3. And I Am Number Four? More like I Am This Movie Sucks. Please make a good Hunger Games movie. Even if Catching Fire and Mockingjay blow, at least let me enjoy The Hunger Games.

Sincerely,

Shaun El-Ters

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